Top 10 Lies I Done Ever Been Told

10. You have a fast metabolism; you'll always be able to eat whatever you want. [Everybody lie.]

9. The iPhone said I can't get pregnant right now. [The iPhone lie.]

8. You're our favorite uncle. [My nieces lie.]

7. I'll never expect you to do chores. [My wife lie.]

6. You won't have to pay us back until you graduate. [Chase lie.]

5. You're not weird, just special. [My momma lie.]

4. Disney World won't be crowded at the end of December. [My daddy lie.]

3. I'm a gonna take classes with Steve Gumballs and not go to the big city. [My sister lie.]

2. I'll take you to see Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. [My brother lie.]

AND THE NUMBER 1 LIE I DONE EVER BEEN TOLD:

1. I was on the All-Australia football team. [Dude with spiky hair who look like an emu lie.]